Thougts on war while drinking a beer, sitting in a chair

The war in the middle east has gone on for quite some time now. Israel has been shelling Lebanon for some two weeks now. And while the words Israel, Lebanon, dead or civilians don't really conjures up much anger anymore, let's go behind fancy news broadcast language to see what really happens. A few days ago, some people launched a highly explosive charge on an apartment block in a city in the Middle east. Stop and hold it right there.Lets look at this from another angle. If someone I've never seen before kicks me in the liver, I get upset. Most likely angry, or very sad. Maybe I even start crying. I don't know. No one I've ever met has been that much of an asshole to kick a stranger in the liver. And right now, in the Middle east, people are firing bullets and things that explode on people they've never seen before. And if we asked them why they performed this seemingly mongoloid action, what would they say? Maybe they would say that their commanding officer commanded them to, in order to stamp out terrorism from the face of the earth. But what is the real answer here? I launched 10 kgs of TNT (for example) at that apartment block because this guy told me to? Can I do that too? If I throw a stone at Carl I. Hagen because Stein Lillevolden told me to, is that ok? I think I don't think so. But all of us, who see this stuff on tv, we don't even get upset anymore, possibly with a few noble exceptions. We watch the news, and we think: "Israel bombed Lebanon again, 40 civilians dies. (maybe if we are in the politically correct mood, we add "those motherfuckers" to the end of that sentence). But this is not really what happened. What really happened is that someone launched an unknown amount of highly explosive material into an apartment block because someone else told them to. One man (most often it's unfortunately a member of my own sex) launched explosives into someones home. If this happened in my hometown, any sane person would simply freak out. Lynch mobs would've been formed. But when it's on the news, we don't react, because this is Israel, civilians, Lebanon. It's all familiar news stuff that we have grown to accept as a part of daily life. Maybe it's not about the revolution. Maybe it's about doing the only sane thing, freaking out. I don't really know. I don't really have a solution. As usual I only have plenty of time. But if anyone is planning, co-ordinating or participating in a big freak out, let me know. If feel like I have to do something. For the sake of humanity let's hope the feeling doesn't disappear in any of us.
until next time, don't give up

Observation

Here in Nepal, the banks often have security guards. These are armed with small knives. Quite a contrast to Central America where they are armed with sawed off shotguns or uzis. This is in my view a good thing in one way. Less weapons is generally good. But on the other hand, a knife is maybe not so much of a deterrent to a bank robber?
If you have a guard in the first place, he is there to prevent robbery, right?
But if he's got a breadknife, what can he do?
I'll give the Nepali guards about 50-50 against a robber with a baseball bat.
And maybe 75-25 against an unarmed robber.
But robbers these days are armed to the teeth with weapons, so that little knife is maybe not going to be so much help?
I was were a robber I'd rather take the bank with the knife guard than the bank with that former mossad agent with a uzi.
But that's just a thougt. Opinions on the knife?

The Hunt for Decadency

Welcome back. I have been visiting the Nepali countryside for the last week, and therefore not updated the blog.
But, today I will, and what better than to tell about my research in the Nepali casino scene. As I am currently writing an article about the Maoists, I was trying to find some real rich and decadent people to get their views on the Maoist insurgency. And what better place to look for decadency than among Nepals half a dozen casinos?
The first casino of the day bore the name Casino Royale (true!) and here I met mr. Chobang who was in charge of human resource management at the casino. We sat down and he immediately asked if I wanted a beer. While I was determined not to let simple bribery come in the way of my research, I also had to consider the fluid level of my body, and therefore agreed to this friendly proposal. But under the interview if suddenly became clear to me that mr. Chobang was not the decadent evil rich man I had hoped. He said that the Maoists had done a great job in raising political awareness in the countryside, and that he supported all of their demands. But what he didn't like was their methods, so therefore he would've voted for the Marxist Leninist party if there was an election now. The manager at the casino voting marxist leninist. Who would've thought?
After this I decided to go to some more casinos to find a rich man who could say stuff like : "If people are poor, it's their own fault." and stuff like that. But no. All reasonable people in the casino industry in Nepal. After an unknown number of free beers, I finally gave in and bought chips for 3000 Nepali Rupee. At casino tara. When I left six hours later, drunk and happy, the casino people drove me home.
To conclude this groundbraking piece of research, I'll just say that:
Ask not for whom decadence rings, for it rings for thee..

au revior

Honk if you're horny

After six weeks in Kathmandu's tourist headquarter Thamel, I have built up a large amount of frustration over the constant honking of car horns. But, I am clever. I have a blog. If I post a message expressing my problems, Nepali drivers will read it, and understand.

Dear Drivers of Nepal.
If there is traffic jam in front of you, do you think it will disappear if you push your horn relentlessly for 5 minutes? Do you think that people organize traffic jams because they want you to show off your horn? Do you think i appreciate having a motorcycle horn at full power 50 centimetres from my ear?
And why the hell do every single truck in Nepal have "Horn Please" painted on the back?
Is it a karma thing? Do you get to Nirvana if you push your horn enough?
Is Jesus just waiting for all christians to honk their horns, to signal doomsday and the return of God?
I don't know. i'm just asking questions.

What else is new is that I have bought a green aluminum water bottle. Luckily enough, it was already water in it when I bought it. So no need to fill yet.

Until the revolution comes, honk at your own peril.

Gangsters of Nepal

My impression of most Nepali politicians is that they are rich, of the priestly caste, and have big houses. Of course, members of parliament in Norway aren't exactly striving to make ends meet, but still. The wealth of some Nepali politicians stands in a striking contrast to the poverty under which many of the people live. There can of course be many explanations for this. The good wage enjoyed by most politicians, coming from a wealth family or maybe some are just good businessmen. But, in addition to this, corruption has also been an important source of income for many politicians. And this doesn't just relate to oppotunities to amass wealth for themselves, but also relative freedom from punishment when breaking the law.

One example is the Royal party politician Khovari Raya. Between 1994 and 1999 he became minister four times, despite the fact that he holds the dubious honour of being the first MP arrested while in parliament. Raya was arrested for brandishing a firearm at a discoteque in Kathmandu, but no charges were filed and he was set free.

Another politician not wasting his time in parliament is Goshinda Yoshi from Nepali Congress Party. When he first became a minister in 1991 he had a fortune of 300000 nepali rupees(divide by ten to get Nkr.) In 1997 this had grown to 37,9 million, without Yoshi being able to answer where he had earned the money. Yoshi is still an influential politician in Nepal.

In 1995 the parliament was ruled by a minority cabinet. This usually means that it will be harder for cabinet to get proposals trough. Deuba, from NC, who was prime minister at the time, managed to get past this hinderance by paying other members of parliament to leave while a vote of no confidence was being held against him. He paid five MPs 2000 USD each, and sent them to Thailand for "medical treatment". Just enough to tip the vote of no confidence in his favor. A good example of seeing solutions instead of obstacles that we all could learn from.

Stay with us until next time, and remember that crime doesn't pay....as well as politics.

Captain where art thou?

And there he is!
In a small embroidery shop, they have actually specialized in selling t-shirts with motives from Tintin.
And, on the wall, I spotted a t-shirt with the great Captain Haddock. Utilizing his superpowers to down a bottle of whisky without getting hung over. The Nepali have a good eye for superheroes. I'll give them that. Needless to say, I immediately bought this fantastic shirt.

Except for this bargain, the day has been busy with Nepali class (do you see laanekassen, I'm sticking to my part of the agreement?), interviewing people from the British embassy, and meeting Ratu who is a journalist from India. And all this in the same day. At the level of work I performed in the beginning, this would have been a weeks work. But now I am oh so efficient, and plan to keep it up for the rest of my stay. Or maybe just intil the weekend, or tomorrow. But I would just like to state for the record that, today, I've done a good days job.

On the side I can also inform that the British conception of peace in Nepal is "an end to violence and a stable, inclusive democracy." Well, that certainly sounds good. At present, we'll overlook the fact that the UK in 2003 gave to Mi-17 helicopters to the Royal Nepali Army, which they have used to fly over villages and drop mortar shells. On question, the UK's view is that this is a bad thing, and not something they encourage the RNA to do.

Until next time, keep it simple stupid (KISS). Formerly known as knights in satans service.

Visiting the Terai. Meeting old friends.

The last days I have been visiting the Terai, which is the lowland region of Nepal. Being much lower than Kathmandu, it is also much warmer, and much more humid. In other words, much more hardcore climate for a Norwegian like me. While there, I decided to try and meet with the Nepal Goodwill Party once again. Partly because they have such a great name, and partly because the are a regional party fighting for the interests of the Madhesi people, living in the Terai.
When I entered the party office however, I immediately recognized mr. G. from my earlier meeting in Kathmandu. The last time I didn't talk much with mr. G., but he recognized me anyway. (It should be noted that mr. G. is a good natured looking guy, whit a white beard and a santa clause kind of belly.) As I was about to mention to the rest of the room that we had met earlier, mr. G. beat me to it. And talked for about three minutes in Nepali while laughing (a good natured, pirate kind of laugh I must say) and pointing at me. I wasn't able to understand much of what was said, but judging from his way of saying it, I have made a transcription of the monologue as I think it was articulated.
mr. G. "HAHA. Yes, I met this guy in Kathmandu. He came to interview us. HAHA. At the party office. HAHA. He's been nagging for one month now about us not answering his fax with questions. HAHAHAHA. Some son of a gun, I tell you. HAHA HAHA. Yessireee. This guy, coming to the office. Look at him, what a bastard. HAHAHAHA. I tell you. Yesbox, i'm not kidding. This sonofabitch, researcher he says. HAHA. By the Guru's beard. HAHA. I've seen some researchers in my time. But this son of a gun. HAHA. He takes the cake. Give the man a drink. What? Just water? Ok. HAHA. Yessir I can boogie I told him. HAHAHA. By the beard of the Sadhu, err, Guru I mean. HAHA. HAHA. Tell you what. See you in Kathmandu. I know president of party. I fix meeting. HAHA. Sucker. Answer fax? Sure we will. HAHA. Just send it one more time you son of a czar. HAHA. ok. HAHA. This guy. he cracks me up. HAHA.
Ok. See you."

Maybe not the most informative of the interviews I've done, but then again, this is the goodwill party. And that's no joke.
Until next time, be safe, or be a disgrace.

Having a Blast

Yesterday, me, Bjorn Richard and Stian went out for a beer. One beer turned into two, and we decided to find a pub. We ended up in a bar bearing the name Pub Maya, which after all, sounded like a reasonable enough name. When we got the drink menus, one drink immediately distinguished itself from the rest. The beer blaster.

"Beer Blaster: Beer, vodka, tabasco."

How can anyone remotely familiar with alcohol come up with this fantastic recipe? Such stupidity made it my goddamned duty to try one. And lo(!) it tasted like crap. Beer and Vodka in the same drink is generally a bad idea, but the tabasco really took the cake. In a display of willpower I managed to finish it, only to find another gem of a drink in the menu.

"Maya Coctail: A mix of all our whiskeys with Brandy"

And again, I offered myself as a humble tool to the idea of science. At first, the staff were not willing to make it, because "this is the new menu, we have never made this before. we don't know how much of each to use". I told them to bring it on, thinking for myself that this is going to taste like rat poison no matter how much Brandy is in it. And behold(!), I was correct. What a start to a night out. After drinking these fine examples of drinkmixing craftmanship, I did what every other responsible human being in my situation would have done. I got drunk.

And when I woke up on the couch in my apartment the day after, the hypothesis that the drinks were secret remedies to prevent hungover was immediately falsified. But now the night has come, and the mood lifting. Tomorrow I'm going to Bairawar to interview some Maoist footsoldiers and a battalion commander. Updates will follow.
And remember that drinking a beer blaster should only be done by lanekasse sponsored scientists in a controlled enviroment.

Meeting the Captain

Yesterday, as I was on the way to my apartment to celebrate my birthday in silent solitude, I picked up a copy of the cartoon "Tin-Tin in Tibet". I haven't read Tin-Tin since I was a kid, and re-discovering it was a grand experience indeed. Much of this has to do with the series only superhero, captain Haddock. The captain always wears his captain hat, walks around in captain clothes and swears a lot. But in addition to this, he posesses one superhuman quality. Namely his body's capability to consume enormous amounts of alcohol without getting hung over. No place is this more clearly seen than when Tintin (how the hell is TinTin written anyway?), captain Haddock and three sherpas pack their backpacks to climb the mountains from Nepal to Tibet. Tintin and the sherpas unsurprinsingly enough stock up on mountaineering gear and food, but after turning the page, one can see the captain filling his backpack with nothing except twelve bottles of whisky. Twelve bottles which he in turn proceeds to consume on their way to Tibet, in altitudes of 4-5000meters above sea level. And hungover? Not once. Remarkable, to say the least. So from now on, Haddock is one of the top superheroes of all time, at least on my list. Along with Captain America, the Hulk and Bill Hicks.

Stay with us for more updates from the roof of the world.

Introduction to the People's War (Part I)

Contrary to what the title may have led you to believe, this isn't an introduction to Maoist tactics on guerilla warfare. Rather, it is an introduction to the people's war in Nepal. The summary is written as I remember it, and focused on the things that I think are interesting. I am no expert, but I have plenty of time.
The people's war (pw from now on) was started in February 1996 when the Communist Party of Nepal (Maoist) attacked several police posts and public installations on the Nepali countryside. The CPN(M) was formed a few years earlier, by smaller groupings on the Nepali left, who shared some views on the developments in world communism in the 20th century.Among others, these were:

The Soviet Union had some errors, but was mainly good until Khrutchev denounced Stalin in 1956. China was good until Mao died and Deng Xiaoping started on a "rightist, revisionist policy", by introducing limited market reforms with the goal of developing the productive forces.The cultural revolution was basically a progressive course of action.Lenin and Mao both made important contributions to the theory of Marxism, and thus the guiding ideology should be (Marxism-Leninism-Maoism).The only reason to join in parliamentary politics was to expose it's oppressive nature. In countries where feudal modes of production are predominant, the only solution is to liberate the people by a strategy of "protracted people's war".Furthermore, they agreed that the objective conditions of Nepal called for the initiation of people's war as soon as possible.

To agree that Nepal is favourable to guerilla warfare is not very difficult. Nepal is one of the poorest countries in the world, and the vast majority of the population relies on subsistence agriculture to meet their needs. The state has traditionally been, and is, dominated by the large landowners and the king. Infact, until 1990, Nepal was effectively a dictatorship with the king on top. The new constitution formed in 1991, gave the king some veto powers, as well as de facto control over the army. Furthermore, the geography of Nepal is perfect for guerilla tactics. Mountains, jungle and forest all offer possibilities for hit and run tactics. In addition to this, infrastructure outside the Kathmandu valley is lacking, and huge parts of the countryside are without road access, and must rely on pack mules and porters for the transportation of goods.
Nepal is also a country consisting of several ethnic groups. People have trough the history of Nepal wandered in from Tibet, the Gangetic plains and Indian Himalaya. Many of these are effectively blocked from entering politics or business in Nepal(the two are often intertwined). One example is the Madhesi people, who came from the Gangetic plains several thousand years ago. They look more like Indians than Nepalis, and have therefore traditionally been seen as "Indian infiltrators" by the ruling classes. A Madhesi in Nepal has the right to vote, but not to run for office.

Before the CPN(M) started the attack, they made a list of 40 demands that were presented to the government. The demands covered many sections of society, and were put under different labels. Demands regard to nationalism, to the well being of the public and to people's livelihoods. The government oversaw the demands, and on the 13th of February, the people's army struck on various locations in mid-western Nepal.
At this point of time, the objective conditions seems to suggest that I should take a break. Stay with us for more revolutionary information!

question

If peace happens in the forest, but no one is there to witness it, did it really happen?

Rant over US policy while drinking a beer, sitting in my underwear

One of the news headlines in Nepal these days is the advice given from the American ambassadour in Kathmandu, James Moriarty. He is advicing the Koirala, the Prime Minister, on how to deal with the Maoists as a negotiation counterpart. At first glance, this appears quite innocent as far as foreign affairs of the US goes. But let us stop for a minute, and place this oh so friendly advice under closer scrutiny.Mr. Moriarty is a man in his mid-40s, at least that's my unqualified, news-photo-informed guess. Koirala on the other hand is, again based on my poorly informed guessing, a man in his mid 80s, going for 90. So what the hell is this yankee doing giving advice to someone who fought the King with gun in hand even before mr. Moriarty could spell "diplomatic coctailparty"?Is this a manifestation of the shadowy concept "strategic interest"?
I guess one could say that, but why not call a spade for a dung-shovel and call it imperialism? Why? Because that's what it is. Of course, some of you might already be raising your finger and saying "Well (note: in a Bill Hicks kind of voice), the US have done some good things for the world, if it weren't for the US, we would not have our freedom."And when did this growing consensus that the US have preserved our freedom develop? When was it that the US stopped the rabid barbarians at our borders? The cold war? Without the mighty NATO and the US, the russkies would have invaded and deported us all to Siberia? Correct me if I'm wrong, but is Sweden a member of NATO, is Finland?Was it the second world war then? Would we all have been speaking German if the US hadn't defeated the axis only with the help of an atom-bomb and captain america? I dunno. You tell me.
So, imperialism then...what to do? I for one, am open for suggestions. In the meantime I'll have a Tuborg. Drinking beer brewed for Danish royalty in Nepal where the people are fighting to end the autocrathic palace rule...I don't know. Can you do that?I cross my fingers that until next post I can.
Stay sober(ML!)

Breaking news!

Yesterday, while attending a meeting with the Madhesi National Liberation Front (Maoist) I made som quite interesting discoveries. After one hour of discussion in Nepali, from which I understood nothing, the maoist cadres brought out tea and biscuits. This leads me to draw the conclusion that, contrary to popular belief, the revolution is indeed a teaparty!
This discovery could have far ranging implications for my understanding of the current peace process. Have the CPN(M) turned political mainstream for good? Is maoism after all a paper tiger? And who is heading for the scrapheap of history. the king, the maoist, peace research?
Many questions, few answers.

I also had a meeting with an old timer of the communist movement in Nepal, mr. Torch. He expressed his disappointment with the lack of unity on the Nepali left, and also told me that his party The Communist Party of Nepal (Unity Center-Masal) will itself split in three in two weeks time. So much for unity.

Other than that I have met a journalist and a lawyer who works in a solidarity network who publishes information about the ongoing peace process. They were working underground until last April, when the victory of the people's movemet resulted in a lift of the ban on their webpage.

Yesterday I watched England yet again go out on penalties. Before the shootout I thought it was impossible to go out every single time one faces a penalty shootout, but alas, Lampard and company surprised me again. So now we are left with Germany, Italy, France and Portugal in the semis. I'm trying to come up with reasons to root for any of these, but haven't found any yet.
Suggestions are welcome. I might root for Germany just for the hell of it. And Raul, congratulations on your picking of Ronaldo and Adriano over Klose as the top scorer of the World Cup.

Today I will transcribe two hours of interviews from tape. That will probably take me four hours and be lots of fun. Apart from that, I will work on my new proposal.
Until next time, stay vigilant!